Do you remember what sex was like in the beginning of your relationship? The excitement of the unknown? The exploration of each other? The raging passions and deep feeling of connection?
Do you miss it?
Today we're gonna talk about how to get it back:
Tantric sex.
First, a little bit about Tantrism. Despite what you may think, it's not based on sexuality. It has applications to sex – which is what we'll be talking about here – but it's a much deeper spiritual system.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tantra#Definition
At it most basic, Tantrism is about developing a deeper connection to the world around you.
Practitioners overtime have taken Tantra principles and applied them to sex – and that's what we're going to do today. Just know that Tantric sex is a very small piece of the larger tradition.
Now let's get on with it!
Tantric sex is about awareness and connection to your partner (and yourself), more than sexual gratification.
It's certainly a spiritual practice, but you don't need any particular belief to try it.
The focus is being connected to your partner. (Remember that 'raging passion I mentioned earlier'? That's a side-effect, not the goal.)
So how do you do it?
Start with some eye contact.
Look into your partner's eyes. Don't look away. Hold their gaze until it becomes moderately uncomfortable. Length of time isn't a big deal. Just don't look away at the first sign of discomfort. (The point here is to push for a deeper intimacy, and that is uncomfortable.)
Throw in some synchronized breathing.
It obviously won't work in every position or situation. But when you're pressed close together, consciously try to match breathing with your partner. Try it – during foreplay, and especially post sex.
Make sure to talk to each other.
If talking during sex is weird for you – no problem! You're not having sex. You're practicing Tantric sex – a very different thing.
What do you talk about? Pretty much whatever you want. Tell each other what you like. What you don't.
What gives you pleasure? What would you like to try? The point is to be open with each other. And what goes best with talking? Listening! Listen to your partner without judgment. If they take the risk and open up to you, and you shut them down – they're never going to open up again.
Hear what they say. It will bring you closer together.
Go slow.
Take your time. Don't rush to penetration. In fact, you may not even get there at all. That's ok.
Explore your partner's body. The sense of touch is powerful, and we rarely use it to it's full potential.
And I don't mean touching your partner to give them pleasure, but also for the pleasure it gives you.
We experience each other through our senses. Sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell. Explore each other. Go places you haven't gone before. See what you like, what you don't. And be open with each other about it.
If you're curious to try something, try it! If your partner says they don't like something you're doing, don't take it personal. It's nothing against you. People are all different, and we like different things.
Think about it like this: Your goal is to develop a deep connection with your partner. Orgasm may not happen, but it is not the priority. Take pleasure in the moment. The touches, sights, and sounds leading up to it.
It's foreplay – with meditative purpose.
What about intercourse?
All the same things we've already talked about apply. Talk to each other. Keep eye contact. Focus on the experience of being together, rather than rushing towards orgasm. Make a conscious effort to take it slow.
And remember:
This is a practice. It takes awhile to get it right. And how will you know that you've gotten it right? That's for you to decide. What did you want to get out of your Tantric experiences? Are you getting it?
Being intimately open with another person is hard – even if we've known them for years. Take it a bit at a time. This isn't the sexual olympics. It's not a competition - no one's judging you. (And if they are, you've got deeper problems than Tantric sex can fix..)
A little Tantric practice is just the thing to bring some passionate, intimate, mind-blowing sex back into your relationship.
Thinking of trying this with your special someone tonight? Tell us how it goes! Comments are anonymous - if you like.
Do you miss it?
Today we're gonna talk about how to get it back:
Tantric sex.
First, a little bit about Tantrism. Despite what you may think, it's not based on sexuality. It has applications to sex – which is what we'll be talking about here – but it's a much deeper spiritual system.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tantra#Definition
At it most basic, Tantrism is about developing a deeper connection to the world around you.
Practitioners overtime have taken Tantra principles and applied them to sex – and that's what we're going to do today. Just know that Tantric sex is a very small piece of the larger tradition.
Now let's get on with it!
Tantric sex is about awareness and connection to your partner (and yourself), more than sexual gratification.
It's certainly a spiritual practice, but you don't need any particular belief to try it.
The focus is being connected to your partner. (Remember that 'raging passion I mentioned earlier'? That's a side-effect, not the goal.)
So how do you do it?
Start with some eye contact.
Look into your partner's eyes. Don't look away. Hold their gaze until it becomes moderately uncomfortable. Length of time isn't a big deal. Just don't look away at the first sign of discomfort. (The point here is to push for a deeper intimacy, and that is uncomfortable.)
Throw in some synchronized breathing.
It obviously won't work in every position or situation. But when you're pressed close together, consciously try to match breathing with your partner. Try it – during foreplay, and especially post sex.
Make sure to talk to each other.
If talking during sex is weird for you – no problem! You're not having sex. You're practicing Tantric sex – a very different thing.
What do you talk about? Pretty much whatever you want. Tell each other what you like. What you don't.
What gives you pleasure? What would you like to try? The point is to be open with each other. And what goes best with talking? Listening! Listen to your partner without judgment. If they take the risk and open up to you, and you shut them down – they're never going to open up again.
Hear what they say. It will bring you closer together.
Go slow.
Take your time. Don't rush to penetration. In fact, you may not even get there at all. That's ok.
Explore your partner's body. The sense of touch is powerful, and we rarely use it to it's full potential.
And I don't mean touching your partner to give them pleasure, but also for the pleasure it gives you.
We experience each other through our senses. Sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell. Explore each other. Go places you haven't gone before. See what you like, what you don't. And be open with each other about it.
If you're curious to try something, try it! If your partner says they don't like something you're doing, don't take it personal. It's nothing against you. People are all different, and we like different things.
Think about it like this: Your goal is to develop a deep connection with your partner. Orgasm may not happen, but it is not the priority. Take pleasure in the moment. The touches, sights, and sounds leading up to it.
It's foreplay – with meditative purpose.
What about intercourse?
All the same things we've already talked about apply. Talk to each other. Keep eye contact. Focus on the experience of being together, rather than rushing towards orgasm. Make a conscious effort to take it slow.
And remember:
This is a practice. It takes awhile to get it right. And how will you know that you've gotten it right? That's for you to decide. What did you want to get out of your Tantric experiences? Are you getting it?
Being intimately open with another person is hard – even if we've known them for years. Take it a bit at a time. This isn't the sexual olympics. It's not a competition - no one's judging you. (And if they are, you've got deeper problems than Tantric sex can fix..)
A little Tantric practice is just the thing to bring some passionate, intimate, mind-blowing sex back into your relationship.
Thinking of trying this with your special someone tonight? Tell us how it goes! Comments are anonymous - if you like.